On Patience

Today the message at church was about patience. I know I struggle with patience so it should be of no surprise to anyone that I would approach today's subject with a little apprehension. In fact, I would characterize much of my personality as being impatient. Given what is going on in my world right now, I think I have good reason to be impatient. You see, I am in the middle of buying a house. It seems like a lot of hurry to get this and that done, followed by days of hearing nothing. Then, there is the whole getting ready to move thing. On top of that, I am facing an aging parent with medical issues. Another family member is in perpetual financial need and looking to me for a bailout. It goes on and on and on.

My wife and I were driving home tonight and I was sullen. The joy of spending the day with the one I love doing things together was peppered with trying to solve other people's problems. I felt robbed. I actually found myself stating, "I don't know what God is trying to teach me, but I wish I would learn it NOW!" So much for patience.

I don't know if the speaker MEANT it like this, but this is what I HEARD. Patience is not so much holding one's cool in the midst of life's challenges, but rather responding in love to others in spite of the fact that they ARE a challenge. Impatience, on the other hand, is responding with frustration. This has been playing out a lot lately for me. I've noticed that as soon as I set a boundary, someone goes for the throat in challenging it. My usual response is to dig my heels in and challenge back with gusto. Pretty soon, the whole affair escalates into a pretty ugly situation. I feel beaten up, defeated and pretty much powerless to do anything but cave in. In the end, I end up just trying to hold myself together and get ready for the next onslaught. How fun is that?

But, what if I held firm in a manner that acknowledges their situation AND their ability to discover their own solution? Now, there's a novel concept. In our discussion, my wife pointed out how often we insert ourselves into other people's situations either because they invite us or because we offer solutions all too quickly. In either situation, we are likely to grow impatient as we assume more responsibility and the other party assumes less.

So patiently I need to continue to set the boundaries and expect the push back. And yes, there will be push back. But, I need to patiently endure it in order that we will both grow from the experience. I need to patiently respond to the trial and error of others and myself as we move forward and become more and more refined in our adult responsibilities. I need to be less crotchety in my maturing years and pay forward that grace which was extended to me when I was first learning the ropes of life. I need a good dose of patience to respond not with ready advice and solutions but rather with guidance and example.

You see, the old wolf can still learn a new trick or two.