Christmas 2009

Usually, I write an article for our annual "Sweet Greetings" publication. It didn't happen this year. Life happened in triplicate, it seemed. It's been a rollercoaster ride for months. In fact I am feeling downright "chiseled." (That term would only make sense to my friends from church).

Today is Christmas. While I am making every effort to center on the Christ of Christmas, I feel so "off-center." The most difficult lesson I seem to be facing is how to let go of things. Apparently, I am a bit of a control freak. Unfortunately, most of my experiences of late, are completely out of my control; things like an aging parent in failing health, people I love making bad choices, and even the day-to-day grind of doing business. All of these things affect us, and yet, we seemingly have no choice in the matter. To add to the frustration, my reactions have been anything, but kind, gentle, good, or patient. In fact, they have been lacking in just about every area that is positive. If only. . .

I dreamed once that I was allowed a day just to take a timeout from the humdrum and listen to nothing but the silence. It was as though nothing mattered except peace and quiet. Every poor decision, ache and pain was an eternity away. But then I woke up to the blaring radio and reality came back. The dream was lost, perhaps, but not entirely forgotten.

What if? As I am sitting here writing this, the day is settling into evening. The holiday festivities and chaos have subsided for a brief while. It's been an odd holiday, yet a holiday nonetheless. But, normal life is about to return. Tomorrow is trash day. I have to drive up to see my dad at the hospital. Then, I have to deal with an awkward situation. But for the moment, I am listening to the words in my head and hopefully the still small voice that reassures me everything will be okay and I will get through all of this. I need to do this more often.

This isn't my usual faire for our annual Christmas publication, but it is my Christmas wish just the same. May we all make the most of each moment when our world steps aside and lets us just be quiet. Sweet Greetings this Christmas.