Every year I make New Year’s resolutions. Many of them are forgotten by January 2. But, then I also think about what my life was like a year ago. Have I gotten better with age or has age gotten better with me? Either way, time marches forward and we never get to have these moments again. Passage of time is interesting. On one hand, the passage of time can be a very welcome relief, especially when we want to put as much distance between us and that horrible mistake in the past. We rejoice in the notion that we never have to have that experience again. At other times, the passage of time is an unwelcome guest. We want that wonderful moment to last forever. But time shows up and robs us of that experience and replaces it with a mere memory. Even so, we are motivated to move to the next moment in time when we can feel that emotion again. It’s what they call, life.
The Roman god, Janus, for whom we get the word, January, is a two faced being. One face looks forward and one face looks backward. He is the god of beginnings and transitions. Appropriate that the first month of every New Year is named for this god. We tend to look forward with hope and anticipation and we look back with, well, every emotion. Some look back with fond memories while others look back with despair. No matter what, the past is the past and we put it in our memory bank.
Sitting here in my favorite space (my office), I think back to this year gone by and while there are things I regret, the abundance of things for which I am grateful, more than make up for the regret. There were holiday and vacation memories that will last the rest of my life. There were accomplishments and successes for which I can be proud. There were lessons learned and lessons taught, new relationships forged and old relationships rekindled, and deeper understanding that comes with age and experience. All of these things are the fabric of my life, my being, my soul. They are the things that I dwell on when the daily grind overwhelms and threatens to steal my joy. Yes, this is the important stuff that drives me forward to the next grand vista. But it isn’t what’s most important.
The important thing is that I have shared this wonderful journey with an amazing woman. We have shared in the upbringing of an amazing daughter. This is not a pride thing. I am humbled that God chose me to live this amazing life with these amazing people. I don’t deserve any of this, but God in his absolute grace gave me this journey to walk. And the beautiful thing is I don’t think it’s anywhere near over, yet. Yes, the past is the past. It is a memory, but the future is full of hope. I am ready to take the next step.
Happy New Year !
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